Premature eFACulation.

Hey ya'll! I know it is way to early to think about FAC but I wanted to post about the Geek Bowl I went to this weekend, so you have to suffer.

Well we got 16th out of like 42 teams at the Geek Bowl 2008! (EDIT: Official score 87 POINTS!) Pretty good, seeing as some of the questions were like this:

Name the three people the face of E.T. was modeled after.

WTF? We had no clue.

The Fury sez this: "Ghandi, Estelle Getty, and Sammy Davis Jr. Final answer."

Which made WAY more sense than the real answer. And was funnier. In fact, I think if you just say "Estelle Getty" that is almost the funniest thing ever.

One of us did know that Ordinary People and Ferris Bueller's Day Off were both based in Chicago suburbs and could recognize the Millenium Dome on sight. He also happens to know the velocity of gravity -- which I will never stop talking about because I am so jealous. .
Another of us knew things like the director of the film that was put on hold due to Heath Ledger's death, and no guys, it was not the Batman movie, so forget even going there. He also recognized a sex scene from Sliver.
One of us knew the last word in the Hail Mary BEFORE 'amen'. One of us knew every freeaking song they played a guitar riff from, except the title for Van Halen's Eruption -- none of us got that.:( One of us knew Malcom Gladwell. NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WAS ME.

I am certain I added nothing to our 16th place finish. I knew a lot of stuff, of course, but nothing that no one else on the team knew.

Ah, well, maybe someday again I will reprise leaping out of my chair to whisper "CHESS!" into my teammate's ear, confident that I am right. And then sit down hard and fall backwards and hit my head on the floor. Good times.

I don't want to make it seem like I never had good knowledge. One night I won three free beers on bonus questions. Of course it was a night that I was not drinking. Knowledge of Monty Python, Marie Callendar, and Rainbow Bright will only get you so far.

Ah well, on to some photos (click any image to make it huger):

Geek Bowl logo, dude is running a 20-sided die:














And I think he is wearing a NASA diaper.
My team (Legion of Doom -- only 3 members represented) and The Frostys in Catholic drag, along with the Coopersmith's Quizmasters:















The GWD logo:















And their larger than life real dolls:















Popular trivia question: What are the names of the two old man heckler puppets that sit in the balcony on the Muppet Show? Remember at Geeks Who Drink there is no Google!

This is John Dicker and Joel Peach, founders of GWD, reading off the name of the $1000 First Place winners:














Let it be known to all that Dicker looks like the father of my child and no that is not a come-on, it is a SCIENTIFIC FACT.

We also met some "actual nerds from New Mexico" as advertised. They were cool geeks from team Captain Tightpants and they win constantly at Burt's Tiki Lounge in Albuquerque.

Last week I was craving Mexican food.
I am still craving delicious Mexican food. I had some pretty good stuff I made at home last Thursday, but it really doesn't compare to the real thing, so for FAC this week we are going to get dinner at Las Salsitas!

1010 S College Ave
Fort Collins, CO 80524

(970) 498-9400

lassalsitas.com

It is just South of IHOP, they share a parking lot. Go to the website and check out the menu, it is so good. I am having rellenos for sure, who knows what else. Here's the thing -- the tortillas are made fresh for your individual order. No shit. BUT they do not serve alcohol as far as I know. So your are gonna drink your cola and eat a delicious meal and then we will soberly make our way downtown to a place that does serve alcoholic beverages. EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK, wake up happy.

FAC for the poor

Wow what a week. Isn't strange how a Monday holiday can make the week seem like 1000 years long?

When I was in the 5th grade I was in the Extended Enrichment Program, or Triple E, at my elementary school. It was an extra curricular for smart kids, like you got to do tangrams and watch four hours of Mr. Wizard and do the experiments along with the show. We did a lot of cool stuff, like went to the Future Problem Solvers competition and the like.
This scarred me for life. In more ways than one. True, it gave me a sense of superiority, an aloofness, and a penchant for tiny squares and rectangles of plastic. But it also gave a strong aversion for Cap'n Crunch.

If you do not know about Cap'n Crunch cereal, let me describe it. As if the horrible contraction in the name isn't enough, it is like eating a chunk of old concrete. If concrete was made out of rock and sugar. It looks innocent enough:













But after you eat it, your mouth is hamburger on the inside, like eating a club sandwich.








as you can see I totally stole the pic from some guy's Maximum Awesome blog about how horrible Cap'Crunch is.

But my story has a special twist, one that comes well before the abrasions to the soft palate or the slimy coating the wet nuggets leave behind.

My story starts with the rat hair.
This is a rat (actually a very cute one):














Another rat, also very cute:






















Notice how they both have a bunch of hair. And btw, rats are born loving Cap'n Crunch:



















Well my 5th grade Triple E teacher, in her infinite wisdom, brought in a clump of Cap'n Crunch which appeared to have a large quantity of rat hair baked into it. Possibly it was a mouse, the whole thing, just entombed in sweet crunchy cement. Whatever, it was revolting.
She had contacted the Quaker Oats company and they said, in essence, here is coupon for your trouble, but the FDA allows Rodent filth: Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams or something like that, sorry you got our yearly quota in your kid's Spiderman bowl. (Go to the FDA link for more info on contaminants in food.)

So I hate Cap'n Crunch. And Quaker tries to claim to be so healthy!

Well my lovely Kel has brought a box of the vile stuff into my house TWICE in the last month! I think she is trying to drive me away. Both the boys eat it, and so does she. I eat the delicious Oat Crunch Cheerios she bought me, and Puffed Kashi. I am sure neither of those cereals ever had rat hair in them. Only contaminated with tiny black helicopters:















photo credit lyle_zapato via zapatopi.net


Anyway, because of my cereal trauma, pun intended, and lack of funds in general, I will not be FAC-ing this week. I know some others are poor too (holiday bills finally rolling in and still at least a few days before the tax return can be filed). So stay tuned for next week's blog which will include exciting things like zombie armies, Geek Bowl 2008 results, and knitting assassins!


Bear "I guess Aunt Mabel didn't need a $94.00 lace shawl when she would have been happy with a $4.00 box of Almond Roca." Bonney

FAC post holiday let-down

SERIOUSLY? Did I have to do that?! I hope no one was eating. (I had a much larger version of the picture at first so thank your lucky stars I shrank it...)

Anyway, my lungs are well enough to go to Coopersmith's Poolside to have a beer at 6PM for FAC.
Sorry this is so late, but the medication and illness is kinda eating my brain power.
Besides I was only at work yesterday and today.

How was the Holiday?

Christmas was typically anticlimactic for me this year. As I age I like Christmas less and less. Traditions fall by the wayside and it seems to hard to create your own or reconnect with the old ones. Finally my Mom is stable enough that maybe my kid's kids will have traditions again. Like driving to see the lights, or setting some cookies out for Santa or setting the tree on fire. Perhaps the time-honored blistering the tongue on the caramel or spilling molten praline on your kid sister will make a resurgence.
These are the things our children do not get, mostly because of cell phones, xbox, and plain old laziness. And the kids play xbox too!! Parents, put down the Guitar Hero and make some popcorn balls for Jesus' sake! Who cares if it is a fire hazard? LIVE A LITTLE! Make the kids clean up, half the fun of making candy is getting fiberglass-like sugar all over your body. So the cat has a fudge mohawk, who cares? At least they are feeding him.

Anyway, hope you all survived whatever you did, Happy new year and come see us at Coops tonight!!

Finally -- My dream come true!

Found on craigslist today. I already have dibs on this so you can't have them! Nyah!
Now I just need to get an iPod which I can dedicate solely to bootleg hippie tapes, and one of those things that will allow me to play the cassettes--- whaddya callit? a cassette player? Oh yeah and one of those cords that goes to my Mac Book so that I can upload all the audio onto that and then to my iPod.... ONE AND A HALF DECADES OF STICKING TO THE MAN!

320+ Phish Tapes - $200

---

Reply to: sale-00000000@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-23, 11:40AM MST


I've got over 320 Phish shows from 1984 to 1999 on cassette that I need to get rid of. They're in great shape - each tape with it's own case and set list.

• Location: effing rich hippieland
  
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I has a twitterfeed!

I am papibear on twitter if you care to know. And twitter you should know I am bullybear.blogspot.com
Now this is feeding to twitter and it will be some crazy internet moebius strip.
Woot!

FAC -- now with more internet!!

Hey FAC-ers!








I don't really have a blog, at least not the way some people have blogs, like they comment daily on the weather or the Avs or the politics or their dog or something. Or sometimes they just tell you how sad/sick/horrible/wonderful/sex-filled their life is.
I can't do that. BUT I was thinking about it, and the FAC email is kind of like my weekly blog, a thing that I inflict upon you with a higher purpose than just me spewing crap at you. (that purpose is for us to get together and socialize --- in case you couldn't figure it out.

SOOOOOOOOOO in an exciting turn of events, I have made an FAC blog!
I know, it is an unexpoected coup like Hillary winning New Hampshire. I am sure you all are stunned, especially after all my crying.

I have posted as many of the old FAC emails as blogs as I could already, and I will post all the old ones eventually, plus there are some bonus blogs on there, like a rant about Diet Coke, and a thing about the post office and a story that was for "Blog Like It's The End Of The World" day. You can even learn how to make a kilt. Really.

The cool thing about this is that you can get it from anywhere, you don't have to clutter up your email box, and if there happened to be, say, a SAN failure in the USDA building (I know, that would never happen, but WHAT IF!?) you could still know where the cool kids will be swilling beer!

Oh, what's that you say? What is the link??? Give it to you now, you cannot wait to read months and months of old FAC emails on government time!? Okay!

http://bullybear.blogspot.com/


Guess what? Some humorous images because I can......
Wait -- what? you also want to know where we are going for FAC? Hahahah.
Well this week I am going to a housewarming party on Friday in Denver, so no FAC.
UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE WANTS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. hint hint.
The blog has comments too, so you can comment on any post.


















































Bear "Name changed to avoid ex-girlfriends" Bonney