So my good friend MeezerManx as a cat with some health problems. Yesterday at lunch she said “I found a woman on Rav whose cat also has megacolon!” Our friend Flucas almost choked on his Whopper (that’s what she said). So we had to explain ‘megacolon’ and assert that it was indeed a real medical term. He found it hilarious, and weird that she was excited to find this other person with the same cat malady. He also said it sounded like the title of a porn. One he wouldn't rent, but would watch if it came on the TV.
On Wednesdays Flucas and I go out to the brewery after work, and often a bunch of people meet us. His BFF Nico and Nico’s fiancée Chris were there with dog Max.
Some crappy local band was sitting with Nico and Chris, and the trucker-stache and dred-beard douches were out in force.
Later L and J joined us. L is a vet student, and a bunch of her fellow students were at a table nearby. This girl whose whole being just screamed LOONEY came over and sat by Flucas and was chatting him up. Pretty soon another vet student woman, an athlete obviously by her sponsored ski jacket, and also a lesbian from her hair and awkward social manner, comes to chat Flucas up.Flucas attracts crazies, lesbians, old ladies, and jailbait.
So I go with L to smoke a cigarette and she tells me a story about Looney. Looney broke up with her boyfriend just before Christmas. About three weeks after that she said she was pregnant. She was drunk at a party and she also told everyone that she only ever had anal sex with her boyfriend, so she must have gotten pregnant from anal. This girl is a VET STUDENT, FULL RIDE scholarship! Anyway, she also tells me the Looney and Looneyboyfriend are back together and engaged.
So I tell Flucas “Hey, Looney is engaged.”
Flucas: “What a twunt! Well that was a waste of $4.”
Me: “YOU BOUGHT HER A BEER!? You are a twunt!”
Flucas: “It was Nico’s idea.He’s the twunt.”
Me: “Well she also claims she got pregnant from anal.”
Flucas: “So she is a stupid twunt!”
Me: “You’re the one who bought her a beer.”
Flucas: “Well I thought I would get anal!”
*die laughing
Flucas: “So she is having an ass baby? A shit baby? You’re not pregnant you’re just constipated!”
Me: “ SHE HAS …. MEGACOLON!”
We did not stop laughing for like, well we are still laughing.
