Blowhard McGillcutty

The following is an email from a coworker. It is important to note a few things first.
A) This was sent in November, the restriction of removing admin rights from computers was executed in September.
B) The person writing this is a developer.
C) This is the Federal Government, a job where you have to pass a background check, get fingerprinted, etc.
D) The author was involved in a situation which forced the agency to purchase a piece of software that the team independently purchased (with their own money) and installed illegally and then the author broke the license by installing it on too many computers, but they HAD TO HAVE IT ( the agency re-purchased the software) because it was what they were developing the app on.

I had a discussion with L about the requirement to restrict Admin rights on laptops. As you may recall (L would recall since he is the one who told you what the reasoning was in the first place!), IT made the case that as long as we run computers on a network those computers that are running with admin rights are vulnerable to hacker attacks. In other words, malware software cannot be installed on a computer if the computer is not running with admin privileges. From a purely technical perspective, it is difficult to refute that argument.

To better address the security issues I put together a list of questions we should present to IT and other security personnel at our next meeting. Feel free to add to this list. Perhaps there are solutions and we just need to be better educated ourselves as to how we can work more effectively in more secure environments.

Is the risk of being infected with malware great enough to justify draconian (Really?)security measures to prevent an attack? (I don't know. Why not ask someone who has had their identity stolen?)
What documentation is there to show the extent of the risk? (Yes. It is called the news. Check it out.)
Does the law of diminishing returns apply when it comes to computer security? (Probably. But we have way more freedom than most government agencies. I can youtube, google, and even blog from work, so I doubt we have too much security.)
How adequate are existing network security measures? Can firewalls and anti virus software be used to prevent malware from reaching a computer? (Hmm. You might have a point. I am sure that anti-virus software is a scam. Also firewalls. They were only invented to bilk us out of money. The lack of viruses is not evidence at all. thanks for bringing this to our attention. We will remove them immediately.)
Does restricting admin access to their systems have a significant impact on the ability of IT professionals to do their jobs? If so, to what extent? Are mitigation efforts effective? (What is this called? Some sort of logical fallacy i am sure.)
Some software writes to the user's hard drive during the course of running and using the software. If the user does not have admin rights then the software cannot run. Should IT professionals use only software that does not require them to have admin rights in order to use it effectively? (Maybe the IT PROFESSIONAL could figure out a way to give that specific software those rights.)
Should IT consider open source software as an alternative to more expensive software products which are more difficult to use on systems having tighter security restrictions? Are there security concerns when running open source software? (How is open-source software easier to use on a system without admin rights? Are you saying no open source software writes to the hard drive? Or was there something specific you had in mind? Yet another logical fallacy, I am sure of it.)

So you want the Federal government to justify it's security policies to you with documentation of the risk posed by allowing users to install unauthorized software? Well, despite the fact that the reasons are obvious to anyone who knows anything about computer viruses, trojans and other types of malware, here is my reason: I WANT MY $200 DOLLARS BACK FOR THAT SOFTWARE ASSHOLE.
Those were my tax dollars you forced our agency to spend.
Dicks like you costing the government money because you think you know better than anyone else should be fired at the least. Preferably rolled in tallow and dropped into a pit of hyenas.

Don't steal my idea.

Flucas : I'm going to make a new email rule that sends you a copy of the email any time you send me an email 12:02:28 PM
◄ echo echo echo echo 12:02:29 PM
◄ lol 12:02:53 PM
◄ if you make the same rule, we could probably crash the notes server. 12:02:57 PM
◄ 1. you send me email 12:03:08 PM
◄ 2. my email automatically sends copy 12:03:16 PM
◄ 3. your email automatically sends copy 12:03:21 PM
◄ 4. ad infinitum 12:03:35 PM

Captan : that sounds like a genius plan 12:03:43 PM

Flucas : make sur eyour email has a large attaachment 12:03:58 PM

Captan: like my idea for tattooing babies in the womb in such a way that the design appears as they grow 12:04:11 PM

Flucas: just like that 12:04:12 PM
◄ wut 12:04:27 PM

Captan: PATENT PENDING BEYOTCH. Don't steal my idea 12:04:31 PM
◄ hahahaha 12:04:38 PM

Flucas: you idea is full of wut 12:04:38 PM

Captan: it is a genius plan 12:04:53 PM

Flucas: no 12:04:55 PM
◄ it isn't 12:04:57 PM
◄ lol 12:05:25 PM

Captan: It's like reality TV, a terrible idea that people will flock to 12:06:27 PM

Flucas: *rubs chin*

*

I are uber super duper IT geek.

Not really, but I was pretty impressed with myself because last night I disassembled my wife's laptop to put on new cover and hinge assembly, put it back together, and it still works!

And I am not getting paid for this, but if you are DIY inclined when it comes to electronics, and you have a Dell computer, I recommend parts-people.com.

Order placed September 26th, order shipped Sept. 28th, order received Sept. 30th with free UPS ground.

I got the LCD Cover with hinges and the front cover bezel. They tell you if it comes with screws or not. Also they sell individual screws of all sizes used on Dell laptops. They sell some gently used parts for even cheaper.

I am very happy! I have no idea how much Dell would have charged me if I sent it in (I don't have the extended coverage) or how much a local dude would charge, but I am sure it is more than I paid.

Ouch.

Almost two months since my last post.
This is because I have hated my job so much I can think of almost nothing else.

Today I simply have a rant about insurance companies. Even people lucky enough to have insurance get fucked regularly.

I am taking a common anti-anxiety/antidepressant (SSRI) . It is a brand name drug so according to my insurance plan it is $35.00 each time I fill it.

Here is what my insurance company says:
"Retail Pharmacy Program:
• PPO: $10 generic/$35 formulary brand-name per prescription/50%
coinsurance ($45 minimum) for non-formulary brand-name drugs.
34-day maximum supply on initial prescription; up to 90 days for
refills with 3 copayments"

So it is $35.00 a month. No matter how much the drug costs, or how much you get -- as long as it is only a 34 day supply.

So my doctor, being the kind and generous person he is, gives me a script for 30 20mg tablets, which I then cut in half, so I have two months of pills for $35.00.

Well the insurance company got wise. Yesterday I went to get my meds and the girl said it was $70.00 WHAT!?
So she says, "Well is it probably your deductible." No, it isn't -- I don't have a deductible because all I get is meds and twice yearly Dr. visits... couldn't touch a normal deductible until halfway through the year. So she says "Well retail price is $104". Seriously? So I am paying $250 dollars a month for a savings of $34 on my meds!?

Wait, this is for two months worth, 60 days. So I am being charged two co-pays. If I was on twice the medication I would pay only $35.00. Right that makes sense. Oh, and actually it is only a savings of $17 per month for my $250. Cool. Thanks, Insurance. Gold star for you.

So really what is happening? Well the drug companies and the insurance companies and the pharmacies (as entities, not as the individual pharmacists) all get a little slice on this. The insurance company gives you a discounted price so you use the expensive drug the pharma companies make, but makes sure you pay every month for more pills, and the pharmacy gets more foot traffic for people coming in monthly. Win, win, win...until we get to the consumer.

Yes, I know, it is stupid for me to bitch about it. I am lucky to have a job and insurance. But remember this: I am saving 32% on my meds. And paying 12% of my salary for that.
Better to get one of those pharmacy savings cards, really.

Generic update for mid-August

Well, today is WAC -- Wednesday Afternoon Club. Which means brewery day!
Summer is the best and worst. There are more people but also way more room because of the patio. I have to say I cannot wait until Odell Brewing gets their new building finished.

The two beers I have my sights on for tonight are Ze Bolshevik Beet Pale and Crimson Shenanigans. Crimson Shenanigans sounds like period sex to me, or something else only found on the Urban Dictionary. I hope it doesn't taste like either of those things.

I am really tired of my work life bleeding (oh, puns) into my "real life". This week one of my coworkers "realized" (I had mentioned it before) that I help out at my friend's bar. A bar she used to frequent. I watched it dawn on her that I know the same people she knows, the owners. And I know why she doesn't go there any more. Now she is acting all weird to me (we speak fairly frequently at work-- rather we did).

I am also completely STUPID, and have been for the last few weeks. I need to go back to my old hypervigilant, keep track of everything self.

Hit out on IE6, prepare to collect bounty.

CNN has a story about web developers trying to crush IE6 out of existence so that the "Web can move forward." Where the hell is the web going? Faster porn? Downloading more iPhone apps?

I think that the developers should worry more about the quality of their product as far as actual content and usability, than whether they have a fucking Flash, Java, or wtf ever other kind of goddamn movie or script or interactive BS. People don't actually need those things, because 90% of the time they serve no purpose.

Besides, everyone who is in the know uses Firefox anyway. Even Mac users do, admit it.

Who less than threes Iowa? I do.

I have decided that while I do not LOVE Iowa I can less-than-three it in a temporary internet-fickle kind of way. Like "I don't really know you but I am a friendly person and I like what your wrote there so I will <3>




So days 2-3: Day two was mostly about work. I kind of started to settle in, do some things rather than just follow like a puppy. Finally got my email setand the work laptop wrangled into submission. I set up some printers and other menial crap. After work I went to Olde Main Brewing for dinner and a delicious beer. I set my ambition too high, because not only did I not have dinner, I didn't get to find out if it was delicious beer. I was seated by the hostess and then ignored until I walked out 25 minutes later. I did read today that yesterday was some Zoo Brew event so maybe they were short staffed in the actual restaurant but seriously? How long does it take to get a drink order from one person? I wouldn't have cared about the wait if I had been sipping beer. Well, I will try again another night.

I stopped by the HyVee grocery store and got three things: candied ginger which was $3 for like half a pound (good deal!), "masala roasted chick peas", and a prepack salad from the deli. The chick peas were disappointing because they tasted heavily of sulphur. The ginger was okay, very spicy but not so much crystallized as heavily sugared. Some bitterness and skin on some pieces.

So I went back to the hotel, drank a cider, found out my kid was getting out of kid jail, had a long talk with my wife and had lousy sleep again.

Day 3 has been all about the food. Finally checked out the hotel breakfast, which was okay because of juice and coffee to-go cups. But lunch is Taco Time. I love Taco Time because when I was a kid and lived with my paternal grandparents every weekend was marked by a couple of important things. My grandfather had very specific food needs on the weekend. On Sunday it was 3pm popcorn from the big air popper, but Saturday for lunch it was two crisp bean burritos from the Taco Time down the hill. So today for lunch I got two crisp bean burritos and enjoyed the hell out of them.
Also stopped by the convenience store, where they sell 24oz soda bottles instead of the usual 20oz. So weird.

So tonight I may try some local flavor such as the Doolittle Prairie Walk. Or go back to my room and watch crap TV again for the 3rd night in a row with some Olde Main beer in a bottle from the convenience store next to my hotel.



Still a lot of corn and penises:

LATER on Day 3: Iowa just went up a lot in standing because I just got to see a whole bunch of little baby bison. Awwww... cuh-cute! I want to sqeeeeze them.

Iowa detail -- Day 1

So this is Iowa. I get off the plane which was two hours late and can already feel the humidity.
The airport is tiny and easy to escape, and the car rental lady is very nice.

No one in Iowa seems to care that I am a big old queer.

I drive to Ames, find my hotel finally, then go out for a drive to see the sights and find dinner... also to get a bunch of crap I forgot.

I find the University and it is AWESOME. Well I really just love the trees and the buildings like the great red brick horse barn.

I drive around, finally run into an area with a lot of stores and hit the Big KMart for the things I forgot. Soda is really expensive here, and there are no liqour stores. Finally find a liquor store which informs me that all grocery stores and convenince stores sell booze. Ah.

A shining beacon of hope in the night.

I find a Taco John's (across from a Taco Time!) and return to the hotel.

The next morning I run to the work campus and figure out what the hell I will be doing all day, which is WALK. The square footage of the building is 11 football fields on 4 floors. Whew. There are also cool things like level 2 and 3 labs, which are empty so you can go in and look at them with no danger of contamination.

For lunch the boss of the customer service folks takes me to a great pizza place Great Plains Sauce and Dough. It should be called Great Plains Dough and Cheese because that is what most of the pizza is made of. TONS of cheese, on thick whole wheat or oat crust. I liked it quite a bit, and it was cheap. 2 slices and a coke set me back 5.66, with free soda refills.

We tour the main street a little and then head back to the campus. After work I go to cool down in my room then venture back out to look for the supposed gay bar, a big box store, and a proper grocery store. Gay bar is non-existent. Grocery store is odd, frozen food is NOT cheap here. The soda is still not cheap, which I figure is because of the deposit on bottles. The store brand soda makes me laugh.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

Dear Bing...

You are a piece of shit and here is why:

I am sure you are just as adequate as Yahoo! search or anything else. But my coworker wanted to search for something this morning so she went to GOOGLE and typed in BING. (Actually, she typed in "BLING", because your name is so stupid people cannot even remember it.)

Yeah. They are using Google to find you, Bing, which is kind of like using your TomTom to find a Garmin dealer. It is not quite a compliment.

We all have the perfectly functional items we use every day, that work really well, and we all have the new shiny things we try for a while because they were a gift, but turn out to not be all that great.

Sorry, Bing. You fail.

RSI and storms a brewin'.

My right arm, the one I use to control my mouse all day, is going numb. From the fingers to the shoulder. I believe this is known as a Repetitive Stress Injury, or something like that. Crap.

I have NOT earned my pay today. I have wasted valuable tax dollars. Why? I have nothing to do. Our systems go down, everything screeches to a halt, and even when it is working again we have to go back and figure out whose fault it is that the thing broke in the first place.

I went out on our building's back patio and watched the huge thunderstorm roll in. We could see the eerie wall of clouds and the rain on the mountains in big grey flannel sheets, but it was still as the grave and hot and humid in town.

I have a terrible taste in my mouth. I need a wisdom tooth removed, a crown put on one tooth, fixed bridge for the other side of the mouth. Plus I am sure that half of my problem with taste is from quitting smoking. Nothing is how it was once before.

Which is one of those truths of life people relate constantly. The only thing that remains the same is change. Thank you, Melissa Etheridge, see you at New West fest.
So how do we embrace change?

This really has been a theme of my life for a few months now, I really started to notice it when I heard Robert Bly on the Prairie Home Companion several weeks ago.

THE SLIM FIR-SEEDS

The nimble oven bird, the dignity of pears,
The simplicity of oars, the imperishable
Engines inside slim fir-seeds, all of these
Hint how much we long for the impermanent
To be permanent. We want the hermit wren
To keep her eggs even during the Storm;
We want eternal oceans. But we are perishable;
Friends, we are salty, impermanent kingdoms.

--Robert Bly

Fail Day

Walk into work to find that all our databases are down. Perfect for the one day in my life I will have people visiting ME specifically at work from another part of the fucking country.

I forgot this meeting so I am not dressed appropriately. I may have to go home and change at lunch. Here in No. Colorado, every day is casual Friday so I am wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals. I would wear at least slacks and real shoes for this if I weren't such a moron. I can still use my long illness as an excuse.

So no email, all systems down. This is going to be a long day.

Back from the dead.

So anyone who notices my facebook will know I was REALLY REALLY sick for the last 10 days.

I am not sure exactly what it was, the doctor said it was a “virus” of some kind, and that my chest x-ray was clear of pneumonia and TB. I got antibiotics (for the secondary bronchial infection) and an inhaler and some steroids and crap. I also got over a week at home in bed for the most part, breaking my back from all the coughing and gasping for air.

I had a lot of time to develop new hate for things I may not have otherwise noticed. Like “Whale Wars”, this asinine new show on Animal Planet channel.
I would just like to point out that Animal Planet is like the FOX or SPIKE of the “science-y” channels. Many of the shows on AP are of questionable educational or even entertainment value, and some of them are fraught with lies and sensationalism. Animal Cops is what I watch when allowed (which means “in the house alone sick for a week”).

I also have developed a deeper hatred of the vagina clowncar shows like “18 Kids and Counting” and “Jon & Kate Plus 8”. Frighteningly, the two most recent episodes *I* watched, one of each of these shows, had to do with the filming of the show and the lighting issues. WHO THE FUCK CARES, I want to see some Kate bitch smack-down on poor Jon, or watch the hi-jinks of the low-IQ fiancée of the next Duggar kid to get hitched. Actually I want blood. So I tune in for Clean Sweep at 3 AM and watch tiny-dicked men fight to keep their trophies from high school sports, when their dreams were not buried under their kid’s Lego and their wives’ Disney collectables.

Yesterday (Sunday) I finally left the house to go somewhere other than to the doctor. We went to IHOP. The employees there are the craziest bitches in the world. There is one woman who I swear never leaves. Ever. Every time I have been to IHOP in the last six years she has been there, no matter what time of day – 3AM after the bar, noon on a Sunday, 4 PM on a Wednesday…..ALWAYS THERE. This would be amazing if she didn’t suck so hard with her pretend friendship and calling people by name, but the wrong name, and assuming what you want because you frequently – like twice-- order the same thing.

Anyway, sitting watching the traffic go by, I see the craziest thing: A motorcycle with two passengers, pulling a trailer with a powder pink casket on it. Seriously. I meant to say “Whoa a pink coffin on a trailer behind a motorcycle!” but all I could say was “CORPSE!” – which really got attention from the family.

Back at work today. No one has really talked to me much, which is just fine. The day really drags when you feel weird still and are used to being asleep for 20 hours of the day. Also quitting smoking means no more smoke breaks, which means it feels like it should be 6PM instead of 1:30.

As soon as I get home, I think I am going to pass out for about 10 hours.

Wednesdays at the brewery.

So my good friend MeezerManx as a cat with some health problems. Yesterday at lunch she said “I found a woman on Rav whose cat also has megacolon!” Our friend Flucas almost choked on his Whopper (that’s what she said). So we had to explain ‘megacolon’ and assert that it was indeed a real medical term. He found it hilarious, and weird that she was excited to find this other person with the same cat malady. He also said it sounded like the title of a porn. One he wouldn't rent, but would watch if it came on the TV.

On Wednesdays Flucas and I go out to the brewery after work, and often a bunch of people meet us. His BFF Nico and Nico’s fiancée Chris were there with dog Max.

Some crappy local band was sitting with Nico and Chris, and the trucker-stache and dred-beard douches were out in force.

Later L and J joined us. L is a vet student, and a bunch of her fellow students were at a table nearby. This girl whose whole being just screamed LOONEY came over and sat by Flucas and was chatting him up. Pretty soon another vet student woman, an athlete obviously by her sponsored ski jacket, and also a lesbian from her hair and awkward social manner, comes to chat Flucas up.Flucas attracts crazies, lesbians, old ladies, and jailbait.

So I go with L to smoke a cigarette and she tells me a story about Looney. Looney broke up with her boyfriend just before Christmas. About three weeks after that she said she was pregnant. She was drunk at a party and she also told everyone that she only ever had anal sex with her boyfriend, so she must have gotten pregnant from anal. This girl is a VET STUDENT, FULL RIDE scholarship! Anyway, she also tells me the Looney and Looneyboyfriend are back together and engaged.

So I tell Flucas “Hey, Looney is engaged.”

Flucas: “What a twunt! Well that was a waste of $4.”

Me: “YOU BOUGHT HER A BEER!? You are a twunt!”

Flucas: “It was Nico’s idea.He’s the twunt.”

Me: “Well she also claims she got pregnant from anal.”

Flucas: “So she is a stupid twunt!”

Me: “You’re the one who bought her a beer.”

Flucas: “Well I thought I would get anal!”

*die laughing

Flucas: “So she is having an ass baby? A shit baby? You’re not pregnant you’re just constipated!”

Me: “ SHE HAS …. MEGACOLON!”

We did not stop laughing for like, well we are still laughing.

Don't forget Charlie

Charlie

I just can't get enough of this video, even years later.

Dramatic reading.

So there is this meme thing, YTMND. It is not something I can really explain, JFGI and you can get the history yourself.

Anyway, some of it is really stupid and gross like most of the internet. There are some jewels in there, though.

Here are a few of my favorites. Mostly safe for work (No nekkid people. Maybe some swears. Headphones or close the door, because they have audio.)

Dramatic reading.

Who will kill you?

Soup is good food.

Here in Duckburg.

Get it on.

and for the advanced meme followers:
Medieval.

Tubular.


and to add knitting content:

And Knitting.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time.

Keith Urban.

Knitting and flying -- PSA

So many many people out there ask about taking knitting needles on the plane. I have flow from Denver to San Diego and back, Denver to Vegas and back, Denver to Twin Falls, ID and back -- each time with knitting on board in my carry-on.

Here is the TSA link for rules on knitting needles in carry-on bags.

Notice the caveat about each agent having determination power.

Also remember that you can CHECK an entire suitcase full of knives if you like. So if you must have long metal needles for something, put them in a checked bag, and take a small project on bamboo circs for carry-on. Everyone needs more hats.

Influenza B

So the kid was sick last Wednesday. Thursday he went back to school and all seemed okay. Friday he called me and come home from school with dizziness, sore throat, high fever...I was fearing strep or mono. We went to the doc and they shoved a swab up his nose (FAR up the nose...eep!) and thested for flu. Sure enough, Influenza strain B...the less scary one. Affects humans and seals. So as long as he doesn't make out with any seals, I think we are okay.

In related news I am feeling pretty light-headed today, but I can't decide if it is from drinking too much Saturday night, or from not sleeping well last night (the wife was on emergency and up and down for calls all night), or if I have the flu.

Last night we went out to Rodizio, which is a small chain Brazilian restaurant that brings skewers of meat to your table and carves it onto your plate. It was really good, but I didn't care for the mahi-mahi very much. Dry little chunks of fish. Bleh. I liked the sweet and spicy chicken, but the best were the different types of beef. Sirloin and garlic crusted and tri-tip. All bloody rare, as I like it. The salad bar was good -- hard boiled quail eggs that were a little rubbery, but nice marinated tomatoes, and a cucmber salad, and mashed potatoes and black beans and collard greens, both with sausage or bacon. Not really a place for vegetarians obviously.

OH! The appetizers were these weird cheese things...well there were little cheese empanadas, and then these cheesy little rice things, and then these popover things that were all cheesy inside that I want about a ton of to eat all day long.

Yum.

How to do internet research.

SO, if for some reason like me you want to know things about people without asking them directly, you can find out things about them on the internet. This is not illegal because you are just reading the stuff they throw out in internetworldland.
Sometimes people get a little too relaxed about what they put on the internet, so this is also a guide as to how you can prevent others from stalking you. I am using myself as an example so the innocent remain unmolested.

JFGI: just fucking google it. Google is your best friend. Even I am on Google now, which I wasn’t for many many years. Don’t get complicated. Just put in the info you have like “knottybear knit” and go from there. If you try that you will see the whole first page is actually stuff I have put out on the internet including a defunct blog I forgot I set up. Sweet, even googling yourself is a learning experience.

Get smart about URLs: If your URL for a site is “http://blahblah/username/profile” then you can search for any other username in the same format. This can give you access to things even when the main page is shut down. So if I have the url for my rav posts of “http://www.ravelry.com/people/knottybear/threads” I can find other people’s posts pretty easily.

Be subtle: People with less that desirable behavior are already sneaky. You know they are googling themselves and trolling the net to see who is talking about them. If you are looking for info and don’t want to tip people off, don’t post “Where is knottybear she ripped me off” in every internet forum across the planet. See what google turns up and go from there.

Follow the breadcrumbs, and your hunches: If two social networking sites have a profile with the same picture of a guy in a sombrero taken in Cabo, chances are it is the same person – or mutual friend. Reading back through profile comments often gleans gems of info, and more places to look and things to google. Oh, see, knottybear referenced a myspace profile in one of her posts. I can see what that says about her and her evil ways. Oh MySpace says she has a facebook to, and here is a handy link to that profile. Oh ZOMG her gf is my husbands ex-brother in law’s second wife!!!

Also learn about IP addresses. Some places actually track and publish your IP address next to your comments. Same IP address = same computer. So if your “friend” is posting for you from your computer at your house… well, yeah right!

Anyway, there is a start. No need to clamor for privates massage, or be caught out in a slander charge. Gather your info before you go forth into legal and/or internet shaming action.

The Official Portrait. Finally.

We who work in Federal Government buildings have been wondering when they will change the photo of the president which hangs in our lobbies. Obviously it is a process which involves the approval of the official portrait, printing and framing them all, and sending them out. Here is the picture we will look at for the next four years.

Craigslist

Dear craigslist users,

craigslist is free. It is not like a classified in the paper, where you pay for every word or line. Feel free to use entire words, spelled out, as many as you want!

You wrote:

i have a handicapped w/c bound grdtr who keeps getting out of her toddler bed..medicaid has denied our multiple attempts to get her a hosp bed with side rails.her physical therapist suggested the day bed scenario..if it has three sides it can be turned the open side is towards the wall.believe me the older shde gets the more urgent to get her a new bed...

Let me help. Please.

Version 1:

I have a handicapped wheelchair-bound granddaughter who keeps getting out of her toddler bed. Medicaid has denied our multiple attempts to get her a hospital bed with side rails. Her physical therapist suggested the day bed scenario; if it has three sides it can be turned open side toward the wall. Believe me, the older she gets the more urgent to get her a new bed.

Version 2:

Wanted: Bed for active toddler with special needs. My granddaughter has physical limitations that require her to use a wheelchair, but she is still a energetic little girl. Looking for a suitable bed with side rails to keep her safe. Medicaid is not able to help up at this time. If you have a daybed or hospital-type bed you are willing to donate, please let us know. Thanks!

Version 3:

Lazy family cant keep kid tied up, give us a cage-bed so we don't have to watch her so closely anymore. She gets stronger every day and is beginning to chew through the ropes.


Okay the last one is a bit much, but seriously? My kid climbed out of his toddler bed and wreaked havoc on our house. HE WAS A TODDLER. That's what they do. I woke up to him sharing a tub of margarine with the dog.

And if the kid is wheel-chair bound, how is she able to escape? I need more info here, people.

Knitting meme!

Mark with bold the things you have knit at least once,
with italics the ones you plan to do sometime, and leave the rest.

Afghan
I-cord
Garter stitch
Knitting with metal wire
Shawl
Stockinette stitch
Socks: top-down
Socks: toe-up
Knitting with camel yarn (not a particular goal but if I got some of course I would)
Mittens: Cuff-up
Mittens: Tip-down
Hat
Knitting with silk
Moebius band knitting
Participating in a KAL (if HatAttacks count!)
Sweater
Drop stitch patterns
Knitting with recycled/secondhand yarn
Slip stitch patterns
Knitting with banana fiber yarn (see camel above)
Domino knitting (modular knitting) (is this like granny squares? not sure what this is either)
Twisted stitch patterns (if it comes up, I will do it)
Knitting with bamboo yarn
Two end knitting (?)
Charity knitting
Knitting with soy yarn
Cardigan
Toy/doll clothing
Knitting with circular needles
Knitting with your own handspun yarn
Slippers
Graffiti knitting (knitting items on, or to be left on the street)

Continental knitting
Designing knitted garments
Cable stitch patterns
Lace patterns
Publishing a knitting book
Scarf
Teaching a child to knit
American/English knitting (as opposed to continental)
Knitting to make money
Button holes
Knitting with alpaca
Fair Isle knitting
Norwegian knitting
Dyeing with plant colors
Knitting items for a wedding
Household items (dishcloths, washcloths, tea cozies…)
Knitting socks (or other small tubular items) on two circulars
Olympic knitting (well kind of did but didnt finish:P)

Knitting with someone else’s handspun yarn
Knitting with DPNs
Holiday related knitting
Teaching a male how to knit
Bobbles (ick...but again for the right pattern, why not?)
Knitting for a living (Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha*gasp*hahahahahaha)
Knitting with cotton
Knitting smocking (this sounds not good...)
Dyeing yarn
Steeks

Knitting art
Fulling/felting
Knitting with wool
Textured knitting
Kitchener BO
Purses/bags
Knitting with beads
Swatching
Long Tail CO
Entrelac
Knitting and purling backwards (I don't know what this means exactly...)
Machine knitting (Ugh)
Knitting with self-patterning/self-striping/variegating yarn
Stuffed toys
Baby items
Knitting with cashmere
Darning
Jewelry
Knitting with synthetic yarn
Writing a pattern
Gloves
Intarsia
Knitting with linen
Knitting for preemies (If I need to!)
Tubular CO (?)
Freeform knitting (sans pattern or is this art pieces?)
Short rows
Cuffs/fingerless mitts/arm warmers
Pillows
Knitting a pattern from an online knitting magazine
Rug (Yeah right.)
Knitting on a loom (: /)
Thrummed knitting
Knitting a gift
Knitting for pets
Shrug/bolero/poncho
Knitting with dog/cat hair
Hair accessories (maybe a snood....hmmm)
Knitting in public

With the right pattern and tools I cannot imagine there is something I wouldn't try to knit, or a fiber or technique I wouldn't try at least once. My first completed item was a cabled hat, so I am not scared!