Hey everyone who is not on vacation right now!
I took the early part of the week off so I could drive to Wyoming and stock my arsenal with the most deadly fireworks known to human kind.
I am kidding. I never buy fireworks. One time a Black Cat exploded in my hand and it hurts to this day, as do all the long thin blisters I have from stepping on sparkler wires in my youth. Rememeber how they would melt to your skin? Oh the times. But even those I do not directly interact with are a menace. Little did I know that the fireworks would actually come to get me.
Casper had, on July 3rd, what they claimed was "the Nation's Largest Fireworks Finale" with the "largest, legal firework shell in the United States". Closer examination of the poorly written article tells us that it is actually the largest MINOR LEAGUE Fireworks Finale. And the mysterious "undisclosed location" where they staged the massive explosion was less than a home run from a crowded playground and 100 yards from both a bike path and another ball field.
http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070630&content_id=268301&vkey=pr_t539&fext=.jsp&sid=t539
The biggest problem was that the "largest, legal firework shell in the United States" did not rise the anticipated "1200 to 1500 feet in the sky." Not even close. I would be surprised if it hit the 300 foot mark before it wholloped the eyes and ears of adults, ball players, children, and area skunks with it's atomic blast. Seriously, it barely cleared the treeline and I am sure the spread of 150 feet was not reached due to interference by LAND. If I am stumbling it is because I am still healing from the retinal burns. No, this glow was not caused by a sunburn, I was scorched by patriotism gone awry.
Actually it was the first firework explosion that scared the stink out of the skunk, but I am sure he tried to drown himself in the North Platte after the Grande Finale.
So, FAC for all of you who wish to participate!
Well I am attempting to make my mark as a Master Quizmaster, so I am limited in time. SURFSIDE IT IS again!
Yay for Surfside! Yay for free internets! Yay for cheap!
I wanted to go to the Lyric Cinema Cafe for a delicious beer and a movie, but the movie I want to see starts at 3:00 or 8:30 -- bummer.
But I highly encourage all of you who do not aspire to trivia legend to go to this movie on Friday at 8:30!
Movie site:
http://www.chalkthefilm.com/
Lyric Cinema Cafe:
http://www.lyriccinemacafe.com/
Fireworks over Goat Island which divides NIAGARA FALLS in two:
Fireworks behind the National Phallus:
Just don't:
Tell on your neighbor. If the cops don't come, perhaps mention they may be illegal immigrants...
Even today they haunt me...
I called them "the Devil's whiskers":
These are way more my speed:
Hooray! Independence Day! Don't blow your hands off!
Bear "OOOOH. AAAHH. Neat. Pretty." Bonney
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment