You can't touch this FAC

A middle school in Fairfax County, Virginia has banned touching. Any touching. Now I could go the rest of my life without seeing two 13 yr old kids sucking face around their braces, but how will they play football? No wrestling? Even basketball? I guess those sports are usually found in higher grades, but really? No high fives? No bonding expressed through ass-patting after a great job on the field of competition? No putting those little braids in each other's hair? NO HAND CLAPPING GAMES!? What if you accidentally touch skin to skin passing a baton in a relay race? Disqualified?

This is why I want to be a Libertarian. Too many rules and laws are made in haste and leave common sense and responsibility out of the picture. The truth is the school is horribly over crowded. Read a study on crowding and the affect it has on the human psyche. Of course they are getting in a lot of fights -- they are like too many chickens in a hot henhouse, pecking each others feathers out of sheer frustration. Actually I guess it is a good solution, because the more crowded it gets, the more likely they will touch, the more will get suspended, the fewer are in the halls and classrooms. Yeah, right.

Anyway, FAC is going to be a good one!
I cannot guarantee whether you will or will not be touched. I can guarantee a cold beer, some trivia, and pool, darts, and air hockey.
We are going to Sliders!
This week we are going to the far back room in the hope that it will be empty and we can take over all the good games. If you can't find us just ask where the air hockey is....

4:30 ish this Friday, and in honor of no-touch we will be looking at the detritus of the humans collected for us by Davy Rothbart in his splendid magazine called "FOUND". We will also be viewing "Dirty FOUND", a testament to how much people like to be touched, looked at, or at least talked to.

Wikipedia's disambiguation of "touch":

Somatosensory system, for the various sensory receptors that trigger the experiences labelled as touch or pressure
Haptics, for the study of human touching behaviour

Touch (60s band), a rock group
Touch (band), a 70s rock band
Touch (album), a 1983 album by New Wave duo Eurythmics
Touch (1987 album), a 1987 album by Laura Branigan
Touch (Sarah McLachlan album), the 1988 debut album of Sarah McLachlan
Touch (song), a single by Canadian rock band The Tea Party
Touch (Amerie album), a 2005 album by R&B singer Amerie
Touch (Amerie song), a 2005 single by R&B singer Amerie
Touch (Omarion song), a song by singer Omarion
Touch (Supremes album), a 1971 album by Motown group The Supremes
Touch Music or Touch Records, an electronic music record label, the main branch of the Touch company (UK)
Touch FM, a group of commercial radio stations in the UK
Touch (Noiseworks album), a 1988 album by Australian hard rock band Noiseworks
Touch (Mike Anthony song), a song heard from Noah's Arc

In fiction:
Touch (manga), a 1980s Japanese manga and anime series
Touch (novel), a 1987 novel by Elmore Leonard
Touch (film), a film by Paul Schrader, after the novel by Elmore Leonard
In sports:
Touch-line, the line on either side of the playing area of some football games
Touch (rugby), the area outside the 2 touch-lines in rugby
Touch judge, an official who monitors the touch-line in a game of Rugby football
Touch football (rugby league), commonly known as "touch"

Other:
touch (Unix), a classic computer program on Unix and Unix-like operating systems
The Touch River, a river of southwestern France that flows into the Garonne River

Bear" Keep your laws off my haptics" Bonney