FAC from the dead!

Hey ya'll -- short notice here, but what the heck, it is FAC TIME!!
AA is in town and here mystical self will grace us with her presence tonight!

Surfside! 6ish! DO IT!

DOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEET!

Oh and happy free slurpee day. Thanks anner!

R.I.P. FAC

Well kids, I think that's all she wrote.

After a good long time, we are saying goodbye to our regularly scheduled FAC. I was hoping to make it to our two year anniversary at least, but it turns out we are just too disorganized, and losing a key organizer is going to hurt us even more. Thanks to all of you who participated over the many months. Stay tuned for occasional special event FAC notices (like the upcoming ABSOLUTE event, and the Prom, both in April.

Also stay tuned for humor! I am full of it!

Happy Belated Easter!

FROM BENTOBJECTS

FAC Goodbye

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.”
-- Robert Southey









image: nataliedee.com









We all should know by now that AA is moving to Craig, and hopefully some of us will be there for her final send-off for FAC tonight.













image: icanhascheezburger.com

We will all miss her and she had better come visit a million times a year.


















So as sappy as it may be, come to Coopersmith's tonight at around six-ish (Poolside) and have a beer and a slice and get your butt kicked at pool by AA before she has to drive over big mountain passes into the land of no martinis.

“The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.” -- William James













image: nataliedee.com

“Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.” -Henry David Thoreau

“Mystical explanations are considered deep. The truth is that they are not even superficial.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

And just because you thought you would get away without any politics, this image: toothpastefordinner.com

FAC-tulose

So Julia's cat was very ill earlier this week. Lactulose is the name of a medication she has to take to help her go to the toilet, like Metamucil. Let's all wish the little Dag-nabbit a speedy recovery and wish Julia good luck with the 5X a day meds/feedings/diaper changes. She is getting ready for kids I guess? LOL!

(You know how I like rhyming things, hence the name of this week's FAC post!!)

So you all know I like to knit. And I am a huge geek. So I give you a picture of this guy:



















This is Jim Carroll. You may know him as the author of the very popular book-turned-movie "The Basketball Diaries."

He is also a poet, a punk musician, and a knitter! "In fifty plus years, claims to have knitted more than 6,500 hats and scarves for nieces, nephews and coworkers."
Right on.

As far as I know Leo does not knit. There are pictures of Russell Crowe with knitting in his hands:















I don't think he actually knows how, though. You can add Lawrence Fishburne to the list of men who knit, as well as James Buchanan (15th President of the United States!).
If anyone ( male or female) wants to knit with me, let me know! I can teach!

OH! FAC! Well as you know, Mystical, our favorite unicorn, has galloped over the Rocky Mountains to seek her fortune! So I will go to O'dells Tap Room for one or two beers at 4:45ish I think, and then mosey on from there to the Surfside or something...all the while missing or prance-y friend!

FAC minus

Well here we are again, with a lame-ass FAC about to not happen. I think that we may just be all old and tired or something. Actually it is because YOU ALL are old and tired. I just don't want to go drink in the afternoon alone because it makes me look bad... I mean worse.

SO, I am going to go not drink at some Old Town bar by myself. Hahahah.

And now, pictures of everything I have ever knit.
Just kidding. But check out the cool knitting/crochet below:

From ART MOCO blog, yes he knit a Spiderman costume.

















This Atari Breakout Pillow from Jackrabbit
-- where the Jackrabbit? -- on Etsy!














Can't afford iPhone? Have Grandma knit one for you!

























Can't afford a Darth Vader costume? Crochet one!

















Can't afford this Ferrari? Too bad! Hhahahaha!














Wait! Yes you can, just knit it yourself!
Yes it is fully hand knit!














Can't afford condoms? Well don't have sex. (Or get some for free at your local Planned Parenthood. w00t!)
But as a cute little safe-sex education tool or a funny gift, a knit condom:















WARNING: KNIT CONDOMS DO NOT PREVENT PREGNANCY OR THE TRANSMISSION OF STDs such as the HIV. So if you have a knitting kink, I suggest you wear a real condom under this, okay? Thanks have fun you crazy kids!

Bear "Ew is that lint?" Bonney

FAC intercalary

2008 is special. It is a Leap Year. I am going to throw down some boring science-y stuff so you can understand WHY leap years exist. Pretty much stolen directly from Wikipedia: Adding an extra day to the calendar every four years compensates for the fact that a solar year is almost 6 hours longer than 365 days. Most years that are divisible by 4 are leap years. However, some exceptions to this rule are required since the duration of a solar year is slightly less than 365.25 days. Years which are divisible by 100 are not leap years, unless they are also divisible by 400, in which case they are leap years.^[1][2] For example, 1600 and 2000 were leap years, but 1700, 1800 and 1900 were not. Going forward, 2100, 2200, 2300, 2500, 2600, 2700, 2900, and 3000 will not be leap years, but 2400 and 2800 will be. By this rule, the average number of days per year will be 365 + 1/4 − 1/100 + 1/400 = 365.2425, which is 365 days, 5 hours, 49 minutes, and 12 seconds. *YAWN* Really the only people who give a crap about leap years are those poor saps who were born on February 29th. So let us acknowledge their suffering this Friday by having a great big old fun time at FAC!
Last week's FAC was quite fun. Even though I didn't go to Giant Panda, I am sure that was a blast as well. We celebrated Shots eleventh anniversary instead! Woo!

Here is a list of some people we will be remembering or celebrating on this day:

Jimmy Dorsey -- Big Band composer



















Dinah Shore -- Actor, singer (come on out!)

















Dennis Farina -- Actor (Law and Order Det. Fontana
and every other freaking cop show and movie)















Joss Ackland -- British Actor (was in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, which I am sure he is proud of, and said Demi Moore is "not very bright or talented".)























Patricia [Anne] McKillip, sci-fi author













Antonio Sabato, Jr. - Italian-born actor














Pedro Zamora, Cuban-born American AIDS activist (d. 1994) (you know -- Real World: San Francisco)









Ja Rule - Rapper and Actor
















and a bunch of athletes and other people no one has ever heard of.

So if you know someone that has a Feb 29th birthday, you should treat them very well on Friday! Or spurn them and come to FAC.

SPEAKING OF FAC....

Some of my most loyal friends are leaving town this Friday right after work. So if you wanna FAC give me a call or send me an email, because I am kinda drifting around at the moment...
I will find something fun and if I do I will let ya'll know!

FAC, how I missed ya.

Hey there, you, FAC. I missed you so. The cheap beers, the early evening buzz that can ruin your whole Friday night, the bad food that does the same. The great friends and stupid quotes and conversations that seem brilliant after a stop at Elliot's. I miss garlic knots and pesto torta. Surly bartenders and awesome waitresses. Or vice versa.
Let's do this thing, 'kay?
















Friday night. After 5:00. Surfside 7. Then who knows? Gin and lime enlightenment? Audio pleasure and microbrews? So many possibilities await us my old friend.














Perhaps we will plan our trip to ROLFcon ?!









What could be better than studying the social and financial impact of LOLcats and Tron Guy?
















Well, going with someone like you, FAC. You're the best. Like Spock to my Kirk.

LOLtrek provided images! Click for the whole story.












Bear "Meme me up, Scotty" Bonney

fa'c shizzle my graphizzle

Rap as Math


Whew, well I just spent a whole weekend thinking about nothing but one stupid hat!
Well, I take that back. It was probably the smartest hat ever, for sure it was smarter than me!
The hat is done with a series of cables that when interpreted from left to right represent the numbers from 0 to 15. In binary. HA!
So here is the way you read it: from bottom to top of the hat, no twist in a 'row' equals 0 (zero) and a twist in a 'row' equals a 1 (one). The hat has four applicable 'rows' (top to bottom) and sixteen 'columns' or cables (left to right).

The table explains the binary of the numbers from zero to ten.

Binary	Decimal
0	0
1	1
10	2
11	3
100	4
101	5
110	6
111	7
1000	8
1001	9
1010	1

I know, I know. Don't hate me.





Here are some pictures of the hat and an illustration of each of the numbers:































So 15 in binary is 1111, or four twists on the cable.
People are surprised that I knit until I show them things like this.

Now about FAC. I am no longer quite so poor. But there is NO FAC IN FC THIS WEEK. Why?
Well because of this:

I am working this thing! It will be like the other events, with some great performances, some awesome burlesque, aerial acts (hoops and sashes!), and a ton of great art. Come on down!


Crypto quote~ 01100001 = 'a'


Bear "01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110010 01101011 00101110 Next week we work on 1337 sp34k." Bonney

Premature eFACulation.

Hey ya'll! I know it is way to early to think about FAC but I wanted to post about the Geek Bowl I went to this weekend, so you have to suffer.

Well we got 16th out of like 42 teams at the Geek Bowl 2008! (EDIT: Official score 87 POINTS!) Pretty good, seeing as some of the questions were like this:

Name the three people the face of E.T. was modeled after.

WTF? We had no clue.

The Fury sez this: "Ghandi, Estelle Getty, and Sammy Davis Jr. Final answer."

Which made WAY more sense than the real answer. And was funnier. In fact, I think if you just say "Estelle Getty" that is almost the funniest thing ever.

One of us did know that Ordinary People and Ferris Bueller's Day Off were both based in Chicago suburbs and could recognize the Millenium Dome on sight. He also happens to know the velocity of gravity -- which I will never stop talking about because I am so jealous. .
Another of us knew things like the director of the film that was put on hold due to Heath Ledger's death, and no guys, it was not the Batman movie, so forget even going there. He also recognized a sex scene from Sliver.
One of us knew the last word in the Hail Mary BEFORE 'amen'. One of us knew every freeaking song they played a guitar riff from, except the title for Van Halen's Eruption -- none of us got that.:( One of us knew Malcom Gladwell. NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WAS ME.

I am certain I added nothing to our 16th place finish. I knew a lot of stuff, of course, but nothing that no one else on the team knew.

Ah, well, maybe someday again I will reprise leaping out of my chair to whisper "CHESS!" into my teammate's ear, confident that I am right. And then sit down hard and fall backwards and hit my head on the floor. Good times.

I don't want to make it seem like I never had good knowledge. One night I won three free beers on bonus questions. Of course it was a night that I was not drinking. Knowledge of Monty Python, Marie Callendar, and Rainbow Bright will only get you so far.

Ah well, on to some photos (click any image to make it huger):

Geek Bowl logo, dude is running a 20-sided die:














And I think he is wearing a NASA diaper.
My team (Legion of Doom -- only 3 members represented) and The Frostys in Catholic drag, along with the Coopersmith's Quizmasters:















The GWD logo:















And their larger than life real dolls:















Popular trivia question: What are the names of the two old man heckler puppets that sit in the balcony on the Muppet Show? Remember at Geeks Who Drink there is no Google!

This is John Dicker and Joel Peach, founders of GWD, reading off the name of the $1000 First Place winners:














Let it be known to all that Dicker looks like the father of my child and no that is not a come-on, it is a SCIENTIFIC FACT.

We also met some "actual nerds from New Mexico" as advertised. They were cool geeks from team Captain Tightpants and they win constantly at Burt's Tiki Lounge in Albuquerque.

Last week I was craving Mexican food.
I am still craving delicious Mexican food. I had some pretty good stuff I made at home last Thursday, but it really doesn't compare to the real thing, so for FAC this week we are going to get dinner at Las Salsitas!

1010 S College Ave
Fort Collins, CO 80524

(970) 498-9400

lassalsitas.com

It is just South of IHOP, they share a parking lot. Go to the website and check out the menu, it is so good. I am having rellenos for sure, who knows what else. Here's the thing -- the tortillas are made fresh for your individual order. No shit. BUT they do not serve alcohol as far as I know. So your are gonna drink your cola and eat a delicious meal and then we will soberly make our way downtown to a place that does serve alcoholic beverages. EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK, wake up happy.

FAC for the poor

Wow what a week. Isn't strange how a Monday holiday can make the week seem like 1000 years long?

When I was in the 5th grade I was in the Extended Enrichment Program, or Triple E, at my elementary school. It was an extra curricular for smart kids, like you got to do tangrams and watch four hours of Mr. Wizard and do the experiments along with the show. We did a lot of cool stuff, like went to the Future Problem Solvers competition and the like.
This scarred me for life. In more ways than one. True, it gave me a sense of superiority, an aloofness, and a penchant for tiny squares and rectangles of plastic. But it also gave a strong aversion for Cap'n Crunch.

If you do not know about Cap'n Crunch cereal, let me describe it. As if the horrible contraction in the name isn't enough, it is like eating a chunk of old concrete. If concrete was made out of rock and sugar. It looks innocent enough:













But after you eat it, your mouth is hamburger on the inside, like eating a club sandwich.








as you can see I totally stole the pic from some guy's Maximum Awesome blog about how horrible Cap'Crunch is.

But my story has a special twist, one that comes well before the abrasions to the soft palate or the slimy coating the wet nuggets leave behind.

My story starts with the rat hair.
This is a rat (actually a very cute one):














Another rat, also very cute:






















Notice how they both have a bunch of hair. And btw, rats are born loving Cap'n Crunch:



















Well my 5th grade Triple E teacher, in her infinite wisdom, brought in a clump of Cap'n Crunch which appeared to have a large quantity of rat hair baked into it. Possibly it was a mouse, the whole thing, just entombed in sweet crunchy cement. Whatever, it was revolting.
She had contacted the Quaker Oats company and they said, in essence, here is coupon for your trouble, but the FDA allows Rodent filth: Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams or something like that, sorry you got our yearly quota in your kid's Spiderman bowl. (Go to the FDA link for more info on contaminants in food.)

So I hate Cap'n Crunch. And Quaker tries to claim to be so healthy!

Well my lovely Kel has brought a box of the vile stuff into my house TWICE in the last month! I think she is trying to drive me away. Both the boys eat it, and so does she. I eat the delicious Oat Crunch Cheerios she bought me, and Puffed Kashi. I am sure neither of those cereals ever had rat hair in them. Only contaminated with tiny black helicopters:















photo credit lyle_zapato via zapatopi.net


Anyway, because of my cereal trauma, pun intended, and lack of funds in general, I will not be FAC-ing this week. I know some others are poor too (holiday bills finally rolling in and still at least a few days before the tax return can be filed). So stay tuned for next week's blog which will include exciting things like zombie armies, Geek Bowl 2008 results, and knitting assassins!


Bear "I guess Aunt Mabel didn't need a $94.00 lace shawl when she would have been happy with a $4.00 box of Almond Roca." Bonney

FAC post holiday let-down

SERIOUSLY? Did I have to do that?! I hope no one was eating. (I had a much larger version of the picture at first so thank your lucky stars I shrank it...)

Anyway, my lungs are well enough to go to Coopersmith's Poolside to have a beer at 6PM for FAC.
Sorry this is so late, but the medication and illness is kinda eating my brain power.
Besides I was only at work yesterday and today.

How was the Holiday?

Christmas was typically anticlimactic for me this year. As I age I like Christmas less and less. Traditions fall by the wayside and it seems to hard to create your own or reconnect with the old ones. Finally my Mom is stable enough that maybe my kid's kids will have traditions again. Like driving to see the lights, or setting some cookies out for Santa or setting the tree on fire. Perhaps the time-honored blistering the tongue on the caramel or spilling molten praline on your kid sister will make a resurgence.
These are the things our children do not get, mostly because of cell phones, xbox, and plain old laziness. And the kids play xbox too!! Parents, put down the Guitar Hero and make some popcorn balls for Jesus' sake! Who cares if it is a fire hazard? LIVE A LITTLE! Make the kids clean up, half the fun of making candy is getting fiberglass-like sugar all over your body. So the cat has a fudge mohawk, who cares? At least they are feeding him.

Anyway, hope you all survived whatever you did, Happy new year and come see us at Coops tonight!!

FAC -- now with more internet!!

Hey FAC-ers!








I don't really have a blog, at least not the way some people have blogs, like they comment daily on the weather or the Avs or the politics or their dog or something. Or sometimes they just tell you how sad/sick/horrible/wonderful/sex-filled their life is.
I can't do that. BUT I was thinking about it, and the FAC email is kind of like my weekly blog, a thing that I inflict upon you with a higher purpose than just me spewing crap at you. (that purpose is for us to get together and socialize --- in case you couldn't figure it out.

SOOOOOOOOOO in an exciting turn of events, I have made an FAC blog!
I know, it is an unexpoected coup like Hillary winning New Hampshire. I am sure you all are stunned, especially after all my crying.

I have posted as many of the old FAC emails as blogs as I could already, and I will post all the old ones eventually, plus there are some bonus blogs on there, like a rant about Diet Coke, and a thing about the post office and a story that was for "Blog Like It's The End Of The World" day. You can even learn how to make a kilt. Really.

The cool thing about this is that you can get it from anywhere, you don't have to clutter up your email box, and if there happened to be, say, a SAN failure in the USDA building (I know, that would never happen, but WHAT IF!?) you could still know where the cool kids will be swilling beer!

Oh, what's that you say? What is the link??? Give it to you now, you cannot wait to read months and months of old FAC emails on government time!? Okay!

http://bullybear.blogspot.com/


Guess what? Some humorous images because I can......
Wait -- what? you also want to know where we are going for FAC? Hahahah.
Well this week I am going to a housewarming party on Friday in Denver, so no FAC.
UNLESS SOMEONE ELSE WANTS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. hint hint.
The blog has comments too, so you can comment on any post.


















































Bear "Name changed to avoid ex-girlfriends" Bonney